Ordering Pizza
by River the Witch Girl
Summary: The Guardians celebrate something and play a game 'who gets drunk last'. After the game they try ordering pizza to the North Pole. Yeah, the one-shot's a little snippet about how they order the pizza. Non-slash


**Ordering Pizza**

* * *

"NOOOORTH! CHECK'IS *hic* OUT!*hic* I have made TOOOOTAL CHAOS!"

Unsteady heavily pounding footsteps.

"JACKIE! WHAT IZ *hic* THIS?!"

Half the Globe Room is frozen with patches of ice and snow.

"JACK *hic* FROST! WHAT IN ZEE NAME OF *hic* MOON HAVE YOU DONE?! I HAVE DARED YOU *hic* TO FREEZE AND ZEN _MELT_ IT!"Santa Claus, or more known in the spirit world as North, bellowed leaning heavily on the doorframe. The scene of the Globe Room was let's say... Terrible.

A table along with five chairs were lying on the floor, two of the chairs cracked and one standing on only three legs. One was hanging lonely from a hook on the ceiling. All around the floor were crumbs of cookies mixed up with confetti and a mass of elves. Two of the elves were kissing. Clinging to the window were a few balloons. The half frozen Globe was particularly horrifying. Important thing was that all around were bottles of wine and beer. North was clutching a bottle of Russian vodka.

"ТЫ ЧЕ ВАЩЕ СДЕЛАЛ?! КАК МНЕ ВСЕ ЭТО ТЕПЕРЬ ОТСКРЕБАТЬ?!"North boomed angrily gesturing at the ice covered parts with his half empty vodka bottle. Jack rolled his eyes but miscalculated the movement and slipped over his staff, landing on the floor with little to no grace.

The kissing elves opened their eyes, finally realizing what they were doing and screeched, spitting and sticking their tongues out in disgust. One of the elves started slapping and punching the other. It soon turned into a cat fight which slowly receded into another room.

Jack watched them fight with a thoughtful look and constantly hiccuped. He looked back to North.

"Can I *hic* borrow that?"he pointed his finger at North's bottle of vodka that already half spilled on the floor. North looked down at it and then back at Jack. He shook his head.

"No."

Jack pouted at that.

"Come *hic* on! I'm not a *hic* little boy! I'm *hic* 319 years old!"Jack tried reasoning, while attempting to get up and more or less, exactly failing to do it.

"NO VODKA FOR BOYS ON NAUGHTY LIST!"North boomed, and shook his finger. He didn't notice but the finger remained on the same place, but he himself wobbled instead.

Jack huffed and sighed, finding a couch and dramatically slumping in it. The pink dressing gown with flowers Jack was currently wearing instead of his hoodie flailed. Bunny had been creative and dared Jack to take off the hoodie and put on the pink robe. Very funny, Jack thought then. Now he actually _did_ think it was funny.

Tooth was lying on the same couch, with golden teeth step-dancing with carrots. She was knocked out in a previous bet where Sandy had to hit an elf, but instead succeeded in knocking out Tooth and Bunny who was sprawled on the floor next to the couch, hugging a blue robot toy which even being not a live object seemed to be desperate in getting out of the Eatser Bunny's grip. Bunny's ears were sticking in absolutely opposite directions.

The Sandman himself was sitting on a balk right under the ceiling, snoring soundlessly into the bottle of beer he was hugging.

All in all the Guardians had a party hard and got drunk. Awesome.

Jack pouted for a while and then a light bulb practically lit up above his head.

"NOOOOOOOORTH!*hic* I WANT PIIIIIIZAAAAAA!"Jack whined. North was trying to get both his eyes open but they just told him he can go somewhere else and that usually eyes want to be closed when someone gets drunk. North lifted his head to look at Jack.

"That*hic... IZ A BRILLIANT IDEA, MY *hic* FRIEND!"he bellowed the last part. Jack snapped his fingers prideful. There was silence.

"But... Where can we *hic* get it?"Jack asked. North furrowed his brows and looked at Jack as if the boy was nuts.

"Of course we *hic* order it!"he gestured to something invisible for a purpose no one knew, including North himself. Perhaps for the drama of the moment. The drama has been achieved.

"Bingo."Jack said respectfully, nodding. North took out a phone and a card with moth eaten wholes from his coat. He dialed the number.

_Beep beep beep._

"Oh, *hic* g'morning, sir. Yes? It's *hic* evening? Okay, *hic* g'evening. I want to *hic* make an order for two pizzes. But... Scratch that, four pizzas. *hic* Yes? Two pepperoni, one napolitana *hic* and- Jack, what do you want? Yes and a *hic* margarita. Uh-huh... Nicolas St. North, the Santa *hic* Claus. Yes, you heard me right, *hic* Santa Claus. Is something *hic* wrong? Good. Address? North Pole. What?! Drunk? *hic* DRUNK?! ARE YOU *hic* ACCUSING ME OF BEING *hic* DRUNK?! WHY YOU ***! YOU'RE PUT ON NAUGHTY LIST _PERMANENTLY_! AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the phone was abruptly snatched from North's hands who was swearing in Russian.

"IT DOESN'T TAKE ONLY A BOTTLE OF VODKA TO GET A TRUE RUSSIAN MAN DRUNK, YOU ***!"North shook his hands in rage. Jack was NOT amused. He put on a friendly smile, well he thought so, it looked more like a maniac grin, but that's not the point, is it?

"Um, I'm *hic* sorry for my friend's here *hic* behavior, sir. He didn't *hic* mean all that. What?! No of course *hic* I'm not drunk! Why I sound like a sixteen *hic* year old drunk one? Well to your knowledge I'm *hic* having a day off. Freezing everything over the world gets tiring, you know. *hic*. What?! What do you mean 'am I Jack Frost or something'?! OF COURSE I'M JACK FROST, YOU IDIOT! AND I WANT SOME PIZZA! DO YOU KNOW HOW ENERGY DRENCHING IT IS TO FREEZE THE SIBERIA?! CORRECT, YOU _DON'T_!"

_Beep beep beep._

Jack stared blankly at the blinking line on the phone's screen. He looked at North.

"Would you believe it? He *hic* hung off! What did I say wrong?"he huffed. North scratched his head thoughtfully.

"Maybe we should try ordering to Bunny's address?"

* * *

**A/N:** Hey everybody! Well yes, I've posted another little one-shot thingy.*sighs*There was like this plot bunny (I wonder if the plot bunnies are related to Bunnymund XD) who attacked me and wouldn't let go until a write this. I guess it's lame. And the ending is lame. /)_- Yeah. I just hope this maybe made someone's mood a little better? I really hope so. Because it's my purpose to make someone's day even a little, but better;)

So, um, please review? If it's not to much to ask for... I really need to know if this is any good. If not, I'll just delete it-_- But anyways. Maybe I'll try doing a similar thing with Pitch? What do you think?:3

Love, peace and cookies

River Melody

P.S. Yeah, here have a cookie and a pizza;)*hands a cookie and a pizza*


End file.
